The model's trip to Argentina has rung alarm bells for ever-cautious tabloid journalists
Oh, it was all going so well in Katie Price's whirlwind romance with Argentinian model Leandro Penna. The long, firelit nights in Casa Katie, untroubled by the scent of the Reidinator's aftershave still lingering in the corridors, using Google Translate to communicate their simple words of el amor (love). Te quiero ("I love you"). Ser mia para siempre ("Be mine for ever"). La decision de casarse no se ha hecho con cualquier plan commercial preconcebidas o tartar los medios de comunicaci�n en el lugar ("The decision to marry has not been made with any pre-conceived commercial plan or media deal in place").
Then there was the prospective trip to Penna's homeland, where, as one gossip mag helpfully pointed out this week, she could not only take part in his TV show El Muro Infernal, which turns out to be Argentina's answer to Hole In The Wall, but also "go prospecting for mineral wealth" and "channel Che Guevara" ? open-pit mining and Marxist guerrilla warfare having famously been the cornerstones upon which Price's career has been founded.
And yet, according to the Daily Star, an immense cloud looms on the horizon. ARGIE PLOT TO KIDNAP KATIE, its headline screamed this week. Lost in Showbiz immediately felt overwhelmed by a wave of furious national pride. Them again! A mere 29 years after the Falklands! If it's not our self-governing overseas territories it's our surgically enhanced famous-for-non-specific-reasons celebrities! It calmed down slightly upon reading the article: on close examination, there didn't actually seem to be any kind of plot to kidnap Katie Price at all, just a quote from an Argentinian "crime expert" claiming "kidnappings are common". Still, you can never be too careful.
LiS choses to ignore those who suggest that, were Katie Price visiting the beaches of Western Australia, the Daily Star would probably run the headline AUSSIE SHARK PLOT TO EAT JORDAN. Likewise, it facepalms those who cruelly hint that given the threadbare content of her new TV series ? which in episode one was forced to squeeze an hour of television out of Price getting her hair done ? being nabbed in the Pampas might be just what brand Jordan needs to pep things up a bit. It remains on red alert, ever-watchful for her safety.
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